Fun With Fakes

Being listed in a public registry can be a funny thing – especially for professional lurkers who don’t usually interact with other humans. Suddenly, your company’s address and contact details are out there, and everyone and their scumbag cousin can see them! Scary? Yes! But also quite amusing sometimes. Here are a few reasons why:

Fake Bills

Getting added to all the right registries may be required by German law, but it’s not free. And since new additions or changes are published for everyone, scammers will absolutely try and send bills for services that sound similar, or are copying the look of the real ones pretty well. The “prices” may vary from close to the realistic value to pretty far off. It’s also common knowledge that these bills will be sent out, and people are warned to triple-check every one of these to make sure it was legitimate. Never pay anything without checking. The people you actually need to pay will usually provide info on where a payment needs to go and in what form it will be requested beforehand, too, to make sure you can spot the difference.

Fake Bills – that arrive faster than the real ones

Germans are not only complicated, they can also be slow! And waiting times may be even longer when international mail is involved. They also liked to claim COVID didn’t really help processing speeds. This leads to many of the fake bills arriving before the real ones. Not always though! Once I received one months after the fact as well… oh hello there, didn’t I pay a tenth of what you’re asking 4 months ago? Yep, I did. But thanks for making me grin.

SrsBusiness Proposals – A.K.A. scare tactics

They see that you are doing a thing – it is on public record after all. They also see on said record that you are already using someone’s services to accomplish your thing. Does that mean they leave you alone? Hell no. Why not send a letter claiming that the person you have hired (and checked for credentials I assume!) is not really qualified to do the job, costs way more than you anyway, and you should really just give money to them instead? That one happened to me when applying for a USA brand and actually made me a bit angry. I am already getting bossed around by the Meowerlords, don’t try to scare me into paying you while also casually harming another person’s reputation!

So, what am I doing with all of those letters? No idea yet! For now, they are getting filed in my company folder “for future reference”. As in, I’d really like to make some funny Origami or papercrafts out of them. Preferrably modular, because there will be more. The next move is already planned, after all, and registers need updating.

Just waiting for material and inspiration… 😉